reasoning for the mad

one of my batchmates said something interesting..."so...there some method in (your)madness!!" ;- her amusement was the fact that I remain a vegetarian ..alongside the the other tags i carry like nicotene,high alcohol consumption, long hair, marijuana*, intolerable forms of music and antiosocial behaviour.


To be honest i liked what she said through and thru, not that i like the word "method", but I took pride in being 'mad'...but then..no!the truth is , iam not mad enough. Im getting less crazier by the day...I smile at people...I go meet friends on weekends..be nice to them..warm good byes..(and similar behaviour o on the web!). I try (very remotely) to meet the office deadlines, make documents about stuff which is not even my headache and check for spelling mistakes (not that i spot them...thanks to dyslexia). I also sometimes write on this blog.


let me get a little crazy here...where is the seperation between sanity and insanity? it lies in the magic word called "LOGIC" ...and many people use the word 'reason' instead. I am tryng to construct scentences which say that logic and reason are different (or i have a completly tangential understanding of english). Logic is validated reasoning. this validity comes from people who build the context around you . So a mad man has reasons for his(her?) actions, reasons not validated by the people around, and hence are not logical. So, technically , there is no role for the mad man in the society... we dont want him anymore...so he ll die,or if worse...he will live like that. Now If I turn back to myself, I think iam caught somewhere between, insanity and survival instincts, or like how she said ..method and madness. May be I want to be with the society , so that they will let me live longer (and i can pursue my madness for long...)....
.
I stop when i dont make sense to myself-

(* I look so lost, all the time that people think iam perpetually on dope. I do it once every 3 months..or so..the interesting fact it that when iam on it, they tell me i look fresh! )
here is some observations.......




---.......[]

Rajkumar died.....

....................and soon shall I,
as i run out of my supplies of food, music and nicotene . People had in this city have had it planned and were wating for this day. All the glass clad builings suddenly became very interesting to look at.
they fucked up the tata motors building ( and lots of others) near my place.

My freedom is best
Whole country's on house arrest
And everyone's a suspect
You can't feel the flow because you died
Face down on a "suicide"
The muthafucker's on self-destruct
Nobody guardin' your back, it's all a front
Save this! My rage is bliss!

I finally had to subscribe to the aunties food, she checked twice if i were asking only for today
:- one of the boxes had spoilt aloo curry, well i dint understand the business model!!
those ten minutes walking thru the families was hell

kids running all around you
dog tied outside barking at everything that goes by.
three women staring at the guy in the pony (me!) in the torn t-shirt almost human .
adolscent boys, tryin to talk about porn books and other adult-shit , jumping around in their shorts.
and that lady-women doing their night walk early in the evening and and the Grey t-shirt(with blond hair) thought she was gettin attention (well i gave her enough , right?).
and the stone throwing procession to add to all the excitement in to you friendly auntie-uncle-beta neihbourhood.